Narcissists and Food Control

An abusive tactic as effective as it is damaging.

Sandy’s boyfriend, Tom, is taking her out for dinner this evening, so things will be even more difficult than usual. As she goes through her wardrobe to find the right thing to wear she sees Tom through the bedroom window. He’s looking through the bin outside, searching for evidence of any packaging or food he didn’t approve coming into the house. He’ll assume he didn’t find it, rather than it was never there, but god forbid he should actually find something. She turns back to her wardrobe but the choice is limited, she’s lost so much weight that nothing really fits her anymore and Tom doesn’t like her to buy new clothes.

When they get to the restaurant the signs of his displeasure with her every move are already showing, the tension is unbearable. When the waiter asks for her order Sandy sits in silence until he asks Tom first instead. Her partner places his order and then waves his hand at Sandy, letting the waiter know it’s now her turn. She can never place her order first but she knows now never to say that to the waiting staff because it embarrasses Tom. When she reads out her order she takes care not to look at the waiter, not to smile at him, not to engage in any unnecessary small talk, however innocent. She learnt that the hard way.

On a nearby table is a group of people laughing and talking. There is a woman on the table who Tom begins to stare at with a laser focused gaze. Not the way he looks at the women he approves of, sometimes Sandy feels like that’s almost every woman other than her. This woman is making him angry, just by being alive in the same room as him.

This woman is curvy, with a rounded face and bosoms as big as Tom says Sandy’s should be if she was a real woman.

Tom is so angry he ignores the waiter’s greeting as he puts his meal down in front of him. Tom can be a charmer when he wants to be, but tonight he doesn’t want to be. Sandy makes sure she looks at the floor when the waiter comes over to her with her food. She hasn’t eaten all day and had very little the day before but she knows better than to dig in and enjoy her dinner the way the other people in the restaurant are doing. She’ll start a few minutes after Tom does so she doesn’t look like a pig and no matter…