This kind of abuse damages you the most when you don’t recognize it’s happening.

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“You’re too sensitive.”

“That never happened.”

“If it did happen, it was your fault.”

“I only acted like that because of your behavior.”

“Wow, you’re paranoid.”

“You’re so strange.”

“You’re crazy.”

If someone wants to sabotage or control you then the technique of gaslighting will serve their purposes very well. Gaslighting will not only confuse and misdirect you, it will ultimately get you to act against your own interests. There is no need for a gaslighter to continue sabotaging you if you can be made to self-sabotage.

If you care about the person who is gaslighting you, there is no…

In uncertain times toxic ideologies offer simple answers… and incalculable harm.

Promise Keeper’s 2021 Official Trailer. YouTube screenshot.

“The man whose male followers publicly weep over their spiritual failings ended up driving his own partner to depression, bulimia and the brink of suicide.

Mrs. McCartney endured at first because women of her generation were taught to be subservient.” ~ AP News

Want a happy relationship, peaceful home and a good sense of self worth? You might want to do the opposite of everything Bill McCartney’s Promise Keepers suggest.

If I was dead set on preventing homosexuality, my first idea wouldn’t be to pack thousands of men into a stadium together to sing unifying songs. …

“Among the ancient Sabaeans the one class adored spirits who inhabited the stars, the other class adored the stars themselves. Wherever idols or images are used the same phenomenon occurs.”

Photo by ŞULE MAKAROĞLU on Unsplash

Isn’t your favorite celebrity amazing? From their fabulous features to their much touted talent and dazzling interview dialogue. They turn you into a bubbling well of admiration or attraction, possibly both. You’re a fan. You’re up to date with everything your idol has done and everything they’re going to do. Their opinions fascinate you. You even changed your desktop wallpaper and screensaver to feature this first class human being.

But, have you ever stopped to wonder why you actually feel admiration for the celebrity you like? What is your brain trying to tell you? …

Be warned, some of these contain strong language.

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Things are very serious in the world right now. While I don’t want to play that down at all, a little bit of laughter can go a long way when we all need to keep our spirits up. These are my top ten favorite jokes, I hope they get a giggle out of you. Be warned, strong language ahead.

Teacher: Give me an example of a sentence with the word contagious in it. …

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As children we instinctively pursue what interests and fascinates us. At a young age pursuing knowledge, skills and goals is central to each day. Although we don’t use the word motivation to describe the passionate pursuit of our interests, we are all the most motivated we will ever be.

We read whole books in one go, often under the covers by torch light. Maintaining friendships and organizing projects is second nature. The urge to be doing, building and progressing is second nature. …

Need help from someone? Look in the mirror.

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There are many things in life that create the illusion of helplessness in all of us:

The companies that sell us products.

The pervasive idea that we all need to escape from our lives.

The constant stream of bills, letters, emails and calls that sometimes make it hard to breathe at night.

The pervasive, surround sound rhetoric that says we should all be more, do more, have more and back all that up with elusively perfect relationships.

All of these messages and pressures combined take away from one of the most powerful truths in life. …

Taking a stand against domineering behaviour.

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A bully can dominate an entire family and they can do a lot of damage while they’re at it.

Maybe you have a bully in your family. Maybe you dread seeing this person.

Maybe they make you angry or miserable and their cutting remarks sting long after you’re out of their presence.

There’s good news and bad news.

The bad news is that when it comes to a bully, who they are is not going to change. Them thinking they are right is not going to change. What they think is acceptable is not going to change.

The good news…

Alerts don’t make you more productive, they just help procrastinators distract you. on Pexels

That copy writing client has sent a message — ping!

That book editing client asked a question— ding!

You’ve made a sale — pop!

The washing machine finishes a cycle — bing bing!

Is that someone at the door? — ring ring!

Thankfully I don’t get new e-mail alerts because I shut that crap down years ago, see also my phone. Some things like the doorbell might be unavoidable…unless I rip the effing thing out of the wall, which is tempting sometimes.

Every appliance, app, website, and marketplace wants to alert you to something. Sure, it sounds useful. I can…

Sometimes the hurtful truth is that you hurt others.

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Most of us don’t want to be an abusive or toxic person. We don’t want to hear someone we care about say that we hurt them. We don’t want to end up estranged from those we care about.

No one wants to read an email, letter or blog post detailing how just being themselves has hurt and driven away someone they love.

Being an abusive person will mean you hurt the people that are closest to you. Imagine destroying the love someone has for you by being an abusive nightmare. Who wants to face up to that?

Being the toxic…

Sometimes the love of your life just isn’t good for you.

Now and then you hear people debating the best time to give children their first drink of alcohol. One person will say they think an early introduction to alcohol prevented them from developing an alcohol problem later in life, and they want the same for their child.

Then other people start chiming in.

Someone had a beer at 8 and they’ve never had a problem. Someone else tried wine at their sibling’s wedding when they were 11 and they never had a problem. Then someone else says their aunt’s brother grew up in a home where alcohol was banned and…

Stef Hill

Writer in business, mental health and feminism. Darling of digital. Self-raising Lazarus.

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